I'm starting to wonder if it matters anymore. All signposts and no destination. Gore hounds and Destination deviants, may I present the latest franchise fodder: overseas internship hopeful Sam Lawton (Nicholas D'Agosto) and his plucky girlfriend Molly (Emma Bell); his best friend and soon-to-be-unhinged co-worker Peter (Miles Fisher, doing his best tipping-over-the-edge Tom Cruise), and his girlfriend Candice (Ellen Wroe); their smarmy, self-serving boss Dennis Lapman (David Koechner), slimy office lackey Isaac (P.J. Byrne) and needlessly hot assistant Olivia (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood); and, last but not least, ladder-climbing warehouse upstart Nathan Sears (Arlen Escarpeta), who really should have been the focus of the fifth film. And so it is that the eight ill-fated workers board a bus for a company retreat, only to plunge into the sea (in various bits and pieces) after a bridge collapse brings an early end to their corporate getaway.
But, of course, that's only what happens in Sam's vision, granted to him mere minutes before tragedy strikes. Grabbing anyone willing to listen, and dragging along any straggler to curious to resist, Sam and his seven co-workers escape the jaws of certain death.
Only to find themselves in Death's all-too-certain crosshairs. Five films in, five films down, and I still don't know much more than I did when the credits rolled on the first Final Destination. Entertaining as it all tends to be, the series is growing stale; re-staging the same setups and payoffs, rehashing the same thrills and chills, and repeating itself ad nauseum, even to the point of poking fun at its own overworked, overcooked formula. But the joy's in the kills, not the destination.
Once, perhaps. The unpredictable has been shoved aside in favor of the inevitable, the surprises have been replaced by the expected, the jolts have turned to yawns. Even Death seems to be teasing the audience, relying on transparent sleight of hand to distract -- a rusty nail, a puddle of water, a frayed wire -- while concocting an entirely different means of disposal. After five films, though, it's little more than a cheap parlor trick, and the magician isn't trying all that hard to hide the cards tucked up his sleeve.